Friday, April 29, 2005

And the Booker's prize goes to..

It’s been 4 years, since I started my engineering which means in a few days, I will be able to call myself an engineer (Sigh!).Not that it means much, but then most things don't anyway. The engineering degree is structured in such a way, that it consists of 3 months of undisturbed slumber, followed by a month of hectic exams. So, basically productive activity would all start in that one month. And, the first step of productivity is in procuring the books.

How you procure your books, says a lot about the type of engineer you will finally become. Buying all the books brand new,now is an expensive affair, besides most people have no need for the books after the exams (Most people have no need for the books during the exams as well ,but lets not get into that) . So, the brainwave some intellects came up with, is something known as a “Book Bank”.


Harappa and Mohenjadaro


The “Book Bank” located somewhere in the crevices of saidapet, has to be seen to be believed. It would make the harappa and mohenjadaro caves look modern. Ancient, actually Pre Ancient South Indian Architecture, with an open courtyard in the first floor. At any time in the evening you would find atleast 100 kids hanging with their books from every roof, most of them studying in the moonlight.

The Book bank rents out books and takes them back, which basically underlies that even they believe that books are only meant to clear examinations. On the “Book Collection” Sunday, Hoards of people seem to land up, from all corners making it like a family outing ,fully equipped with tiffin carriers and the works, I really shudder to think what will happen on the “Money Refund day” coming up...My humble advice don’t come within 5 kms of saidapet on June 12th.

Moore Market

For the industrious Conman, the best option would obviously be “The Moore Market”. Nope, no connection with Demi Moore(Damn!)Situated, next to the Central station , It is chennai’s largest second hand book store (might be Asia’s). The vendors inside, are all apparently long lost cousins of the inspiring Salesman Ramlal. You enter, and you are surrounded by atleast 10 hagglers from different shops, After which it is quite simple

1. Choose a vendor.

2. Make sure, you don’t infuriate the other vendors by doing so.

3. Haggle, Haggle , Haggle

4. Make sure your undies don’t get flicked in the bargain

5. Run for the hills!

So Now, you have figured out how you are going to get your books, The next step is in deciding which books you are planning to buy. Here again, the options are endless.


The
Anna University magnanimously, gives you a set of text books and reference books which you are apparently supposed to study from. So everyone optimistically buys the prescribed text books, then feeling happy about themselves forget that they have to open them.

Now the books you choose to study from, is basically based upon the amount of time you have left for the examination.

1-Month to go

Text Book

These Books can be doubled up as body building weights in most cases, So finally that is what they end up doing.

1-Week to go

Next option, Nathuram’s gay cousins A.Godse and S.Godse not forgetting their estranged bother Mr.Bakshi. They are the founders of the World Mensa society, and have atleast 1400 books in different subjects to their credit. Last I heard, the medical society has approached them to write a book on gynecology. As usual, it shouldn’t take more than 3 days to complete.

2- Days to go

Now we enter, the distressed phase, where we realize that the Godse brothers are taking us for a ride, besides they killed our beloved “bapu”. So,We move onto what I’d like to call “My Savior” Charulatha Publications. Affectionately called “Charu”.

Features:

  • 1/5 the size of the regular book
  • Feather weight
  • As many pages as the morning newspaper
  • Anything complicated has been omitted (Its not in the syllabus obviously)

Needless, to say this is my favourite book, and I really wish all of us can invite the editors of “Charu” to our graduation party.

1- Day to go

Now we enter, “No Hope” phase. “No Fear, Made easy is here”.

Now Made easy is advertised as the text book made easy, But on closer examination it is more like “Charu, Made easy”

Features:

  • Weightless
  • As many pages as the Young World
  • Random batches of 20 pages at every interval regularly discarded ( You must use your choice in the examinations pa!)
  • Complicated things ( Sorry Pa! We also did’nt understand)

15- Mins to go

Last option, when you have recovered from amnesia and suddenly realized you have only 15 mins left for the exam, “The Syllabus”.

Syllabus basically tells you, What you should have been studying in the last one month, which is more or less enough to write about 30 pages in your paper, and is definitely the most optimal solution as nothing can be out of syllabus in this case.

Let’s now move on to some our eclectic authors of the last 4 years, who have now gone to become house hold names

Singaravelu – Ramanujam’s nephew, and the author of every Maths book in this city from L.K.G to Maths for the mentally challenged.

Balagurusamy – The self proclaimed thalaivar of C++. It really doesn’t count for Too much cause one look at his face on the cover, and you really don’t feel like studying anymore.

Much, like the saying In the long run, We are all dead, here as well In the long run, none of this really matters”, Cause our papers are corrected by Frodo and his freckled friends. They use something known as SCM or (“Scratching Correction Methodology” )Tamil version (“Sori Correction methodology”), which in simple terms is scratch with one hand, correct with the other. The marks you get are inversely proportional to the amount they scratch. So, it does make sense to attach a small tube of “Itch guard” along with your answer sheet. No fear, If you didn’t do it the first time, do it when you send your paper for Revaluation.

Revaluation in most institutes means, revaluing someone’s paper.
But here it takes on a simpler meaning


Revaluation – We will try our best to make you pass


Now that the analysis is over, only one trivial task remains, which is to study for the exam…. Damn that reminds me, Its day after tomorrow.



33 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dude, do us a favour, pls quit bloggin and spare us the misery...

u think ur funny?...one of the worst bloggs i have read.

pr@$#@nt# said...

lol.. at the comment above mine

Anonymous said...

ther u go people commenting on comments rather than ur blog....

hope u get the hint

sisto said...

LOL ... contrary to the anonymous dudes feelings, this is one of your better blogs ....
good stuff man
btw u forgot balin ...
charu is textbook made easy
balin is charu made easy
syllabus is balin made easy
if u want it to get any easier im sorry, anna univ doesnt give me access to my answer sheets or i might be hunting for a publisher right now :-D

pr@$#@nt# said...

I am sure the third anonymous is Sudhir only

Sudhir said...

Anonymous, Why do u read my whole blog every time, and then say it's bad, and then come back to see what others have commented.

It doesnt add up..If you know its my blog, and if according to you its bad. Why do u read it?

It does'nt add up

Sudhir said...

Ha Ha Ha sisto.

You should apply for xerox sheet.

You will become a millionaire

Virus said...

good one boy..thoroughly enjoyed it....as usual u go on to prove that 'birbal never fails'..u wud be the only person who wud understand the phrase..so others..dont bother!!!keep bloggin bitch...good work!!

Anonymous said...

sudhir, wats the point of giving urslef gud comments...with a weired and pathetic id like "virus"

dont take this personally, but i think u shud take off ur pic, it mite just help.

Sudhir said...

Don't take this personally, but I think you should work on yr spellings.

It won't help,but it will be a start.


urslef and weired....hmmm

Siddhu said...

Nice blog, dude.

Balagurusamy better not read it, or he may begin hunting for your registration number. ;-)

Awesome man. The comments seem to have as much verve, animation, zest and bickering as our NITS2005 group. LOL

Btw, put the second part of the cupid thing up. You wanted to know what happened to cupid and the girl, didn't ya?

Sudhir said...

As much verve as the nits 2005 group, cause something tells me, its more or less the same people under the pseudo name..."Anonymous".

Thanks anyway,But charu has really let us down by not producing a book for "Testing". I am quite distraught.

akhil said...

Funny stuff dude... so whom does "the Booker's prize" go to anyway?

Sudhir said...

This year, the Booker's prize was withdrawn due to lack of a deserving author.

But Charulatha, has been the undisputed champion in the past.

Siddhu said...

I bet anonymous is Mr. Slyrat Sisto. ;-)

Archster said...

Dude, your blog made
for very humorous reading and i guess one would read into it that the exam blues havent hit you as hard. Good for you then! (our visit on Saturday night confirms that) :))

Your anonymous f(r)iend, who apparently seems to have skipped most of his spelling tests growing up... doesnt help! I think your being too kind.

Vinod said...

Lol.. nice post...

I wrote something similar quite a while back... you might want to check it out...

http://vinodg.blogspot.com/2004/07/engineering-for-dummies.html

aarabi veeraraghavan said...

could i interest you in mr bushan and his introduction to sociology for the booker?hes fat, insipid and purple with mauve stripes...coming to think of it thats probably his singular claim to intellectualism, sort of kitsch inspired...and he's individually responsible for a lot of repressive trauma at the higher secondary level...it's been two years and i still havent recovered completely.

Anonymous said...

great post da...really funny...keep it goin man

jasku

Sudhir said...

Ha Ha ...Aarabi..Thanks but as you can probably contrive...I have had enough...and thanks Turbanator, you finally got time out from America's army to visit..You might be demoted watch out..

Anonymous said...

dont worry bout me gettin demoted! actually i havent played tat game for quite some time..

anyways, wens ur next post, i await in eagerness and anticipation!

nice try with the farewell thing...lets hope it works out for a change!

Jasku

The paranoid android said...

Hey, nice blog.. first time reader from Pune. We have the local godse twins & a Bakshi too who co-author all elex and comp engg. books here. Didn't reaize they had gone national? or are they different?

Sudhir said...

Hello Anand,
They Probably are the same, There definitely can't be 2 sets of Godseh's not forgetting the illustrious Baskshi, U must remember they co founded the mensa society,so won't be surprised if people in tahiti are also usin their books...

Anonymous said...

Hey sudhir,I think you are absolute eye candy...i think you should go ahead n post a couple a more pics of urs.....
Dudette

Anonymous said...

I kinda did not have the time to go thru the entire thingi but hey wateva i read was fun!Its great to c that u do spend sum time on doin sum neat stuff apart from mundane work!if i may say so...Do keep updatin the blog n i shall surely post in my comments. n hey i shall catch u around,"eye candy"!lol
Dudette

Sudhir said...

Yes Miss Dudette, you will catch me around, But how then Will I know its you?

Anonymous said...

Actually i take my words back bout u being an "eye candy"......."eye sore" was wat was on my mind! n dont worry whn u meet me u'll surely know tht its me.wont take u too much analysis, considering the fact tht god has gifted u with PLENTY... of an assortment of things!in any case there is'int any other dudette like moi!bye for now.viddy well!!thts wat u say rite?

Anonymous said...

Well well.....looks like I just found somebody else who might just need some help with their spelling....n since I am this totally magnanimous person,I've decided to help out....just to satisfy ur pompous self I am confirming ur spelling error after checking the dictionary.....It is "favourite" n not "favorite"(in ur profile where u have listed ur favorite movies).....unless ofcourse u have some notion that u r from the United States of America!!!!Then again since ur loaded with ridiculous number of misconceptions I wont be too surprised!Don't worry man.....Shit happens!!!u might wanna take some consolation in the fact that dear Will(obviously I'm referring to our dear William Shakespeare)also must have made some errors failing to realise that the REPURCUSSIONS(I assume u understand what that means?) would be so fatal....But I guess at the end of it all....all I have to say is......SUIT YOURSELF!!!!!!

Sudhir said...

Well, If it isnt Miss Archana from the Park Hotel...Welcome to my blog, If you did notice (Chances are that you didnt)..

The favorite or favourite movies or music part of the blog is a part hosted by the web site..which infact is american.

Damn, Sometimes its so embarassing when you humiliate someone in a public forum..I so hate doing it.

Anonymous said...

I totally understand how u must feel being humiliated in a public forum...my sympathies!But dont give such lame ass excuses for ur mistakes! oh yea it is Archana from the Park Hotel.u r not as dumb as i thought u were.

Sudhir said...

How may I ask, did you get my blog address now...You were seemingly posting comments here, even before I met you...Dudette??

Anonymous said...

dudette here again!!!! so my eye candy wats happnin.....u seem to b havin a confusion as to who I am........... keep guessin.

Nataasha said...

if only i knew u were so good a writer...

too good !