Monday, April 18, 2005

Mobile Musings

"From time immemorial, Man has always found an urge to communicate. From using body parts and perverse gestures he moved on to using more industrious forms of communication like smoke signals and the kabutar ".

The emphasis obviously, on getting the message across in the shortest possible time. He put in a hard days work , entertained his wife (sometimes wives)and was at the end of the day judged on the basis of his intelligence, character and the place he held in society.

How the tables have turned!!!

Smitha : Hey, I went for this really cool party on the weekend

Silksmitha : Yeah. How was it

Smitha: I met this really cool guy, ya!

Silksmitha : Ya!What cell does he have ?

There we have it, A cell phone

"The ultimate status symbol of the younger generation"

And If you have a Reliance phone, May the Lord have mercy on you.

As I had the pleasure of finding out once, at one of those clich├ęd beach house do’s…

For probably the one and only time, in my hallowed existence I had the pleasure of dancing with a beautiful young lady…The conversation that followed

Pretty lady: Hey Sudhir ! What’s your cell number

Shocked Sudhir : What? ( Wondering , If Christmas had set in early)

Pretty lady : Yeah tell me..what is it..98 ?

Still recovering Sudhir : No actually Its 044..I have a Reliance

Pitiful lady : Oh! (proceedes to next drone)

Next Drone : Ha! U have a Reliance huh! Your best chance of getting lucky is with Sehwag’s mom dude

A few days later, going through the whole incident in my mind..I envisioned a Padymsee like Slogan for GSM phones.

“GSM: YOU WONT GET LAID WITH ANYTHING ELSE”


What is it with women and their repulsion for Reliance phones. I wondered.


What is it with Women and Cell phones in general? Why are they so fixated about them anyway? I was wondering if you guys have noticed, 50% of conversations between women, and most times even men these days are about their damn cell phones.


You hear words like 7700, 6583, P650, P800 being thrown around with gay abandon.


Are the people of our time, really interested in the technology and functioning of cell phones, or are they just trying to sound cool?

This conversation, I had with a girl in my class helped me make up my mind.

Phonofile : You know, I cant imagine a World without cell phones today.

Humble me : Yeah. Why do u say that.

Phonofile : No man, I really believe in that. (Quite emphatically) Cell Phones have become a necessity ! ( Removes her phone)

Observant me: Does your phone have Blue tooth? ( Trying to sound intelligent!)

Phonofile : No , It doesn’t have any games.

I made up my mind.


Another thing, I have noticed is that, People are increasingly judged on the basis of their cell phone.


Reliance – Doodh wala

BSNL – Retard

Pre Paid – Cheap Ass

Post Paid – Cool dude

And so on...


A time may soon come where the Matrimonial section might soon look like this

“A Tall Fair Handsome Tamil Brahmin Iyer boy seeks the alliance of a Tall Fair & Lovely Tamil Brahmin iyer girl. No Dowry,Only Deposit

Attributes

  • Well mannered , Fair boy
  • Software Professional in Silicon valley, earning in $$


Special Attribute

  • Nokia 7700

Requirements

  • Girl should be adept at making Sambhar, Rasam, Mulgapudi
  • Girl should be able to sms at the same speed, as the items she makes above"

Cell phones have become a very important part of our lives agreed, But I think the fact I am trying to argue with is here that 5 years back most of us didn’t have them anyway, Besides, I am sure most of you know people who don’t have one and get by just fine.

Can we really judge a person by what cell phone he carries?. I know people who change their cell phone, as often as I break my spectacles (very often) and people who actually pay premiums to get the latest cell phone before everyone else does.

Does it all really make sense ? I really thought a cell phone was something you used primarily for conversing (Unless you work for the paparazzi) and maybe messaging if and only if a landline was'nt around you.

I can hear people saying…Dude What about GPRS and a Camera man.

If you are really that much of an internet freak, and want it to accompany you around the world, then buy a Laptop man, What internet can you browse in the 2 by 2 inch screen of your phone anyway??

With the cameras, The resolution in most cell phones is appalling compared to the actual digital camera, and primarily a camera is meant to shoot truly memorable moments for which you would carry your regular camera with you anyway.Alright, there might be a few notable exceptions.. The DPS Video for instance, but last I heard the girl has been exiled to Canada and the most of the girls have learnt from her mistake, or so I've heard.

But What the hell!! The full form of CDMA is still going to be an astonishingly cool thing to remember, people are still going to invest half their first salaries into a new cell phone , leaving me to ponder what I am really trying to achieve by writing this piece of dribble..For one thing, It will make me a feel a lot better cause my phone looks a lot like this.
Click to enlarge

23 comments:

Neha said...

hey sudhir..nice one..though not all pre paiders are cheap asses.Hopefully u wont have the tams in ur neighbourhood banging on ur door now :)anyways good stuff.

Sudhir said...

Im leaving to Kodai in a couple of weeks.

Lets just say, the blog was strategically scheduled!

Ravi said...

Hi Sudhir,

great job on the website!!

Somehow I do not agree to the reliance reference.

I'm just wondering why is it that I am surrounded by all the prettiest of
the girls even though I do have a Relaiance connection and am married???

Sudhir said...

It is because you are married, and aging girls feel safe around you, Uncle Ravi. Not to mention your matured gruff look

Anonymous said...

hey sudhir! nice blogs.. keep up the good work ;)- esha

pr@$#@nt# said...

Makin Mulgapudi?? Thats the first thing I noticed in the blog.And also, didnt u ask her about Bluetooth and not Blue Chip?
P.S:Interestingly i m not first to comment this time

sisto said...

that cant be your phone ... no way

wheres the dried paneer butter masala blocking parts of the screen and where are the crumbs of pizza which u ate a couple of weeks back? i dont see them stuck between the buttons on that photo!!
im a tam bram and im comin after u right now!
lets finish off this comment in style with

THIS BLOG IS NOT MEANT FOR DECENT PEOPLE!!

Sudhir said...

Very observant Tiger Peelu! ,think your golfing expedition has increased your powers of observation!

Sudhir said...

lol sisto...Actually the crumbs and the paneer butter masala , have fallen into the crack.
I have reconstructed the photo as well...using MS Paint..Vijay Kanth style!

pr@$#@nt# said...

Thank u for honouring me(TIGER), it wudnt have been possible for me to display my golfing talents had u not played football the other day.Now I can safely say that my golfing skills are much better than ur football skills..What say you?

kp said...

impressive n entertaining dude...but u might wanna tone down the contoversial references that have been made...
u do wanna live through the summer..dont u,..?
n by the way..last i heard kodai was still part of tamilian territory..

Vinod said...

Hahaha, completely agree!!

Sudhir said...

Yes Tiger Peelu, U are indeed replete with modesty.
Ironically, I am getting a flashing image of yr first golf shot in my mind...or maybe first golf swing would be more accurate.lol

Sudhir said...

Yes , KP.

But besides, If you wanted uncontroversial stuff, u should read the hindu.

Oh! I forgot reading the you don't have time for it..

pr@$#@nt# said...

Well, what can I say, my first golf shot(swing) was equally comparable to ur first golf SWING(shot) that day..hehe..btw y dont u play pool with me one day, we ll see what happens then ;-)

AC said...

Nice one, sudhir :) As a guy who has a post paid connection (and therefore falling under your 'cool dude' category) and a really cool n stylish 8890, I have had a singular lack of success with PYTs! I think cell phones are overrated as a replacement to the gool old mating calls.

Anonymous said...

hey sudhir,
great piece on the cell phone... when is the next one gonna b out??
-- aanchal.

Siddhu said...

Hey Sudhir- hilarious post. Lmaoed reading it. Can identify with what you say, esp cuz i own a reliance myself. :-((

Anonymous said...

Quite liked your exegesis on mobile phones:) what's next on the blog's repetoire?

-Priyanka

Sudhir said...

Exegesis !?!?!....Hmmmm

Which Priyanka is this anyway...

Anonymous said...

ridiculous blog...u call this a blog page?!!..

Archster said...

'exegesis' Must confess that i went to dictionary.com to see some light shine.

Someone at Reliance very brilliantly offered to come up with an exchange offer! (for us poor souls who are quite often made to feel like social outcasts when caught using one of them Reliane phones)... Only to have 'RELIANCE' splashed all over the supposedly fancy models as well.

Hope Springs Eternal...

Anonymous said...

Hey Sudhir...once in a while u do talk some sense....but I guess it never lasts too long....Whats with that "Whats with women n their repulsion for reliance phones?"Like men have absolutely no interest in flashing off their oh so cool phones that they probably havent figured out themselves...there are ofcourse enough women to give them stiff competition....Im not being some silly feminist but I think such generalized statements are best avoided.The fact of the matter remains that the primary n best use of cell phones should not be forgotten(as u rightly said).N no matter which category cell phone users fall in there is no reason to get orgasmic abt their phones. Archana(yes,from The Park)