Thursday, February 23, 2006

~ The Notice Period ~

(More illuminating insights continued...)

Now, assuming the offer letter you have in your hand is not the one from Onyx, you make the obvious decision of accepting the offer and very quickly, you find yourself with a new job a bigger pay and a bigger smile.

Well, not so quickly.

You still have to serve out something, called the notice period.

The beginning of your notice period starts off with something known as an exit interview.*

This is how, one usually answers his online exit interview.

Did you like your reporting manager ?

No

Is there anything, you would like to share with us about him ?


Yes, He’s a cross dresser

Did you find your experience at our company a rewarding and challenging one ?

Far from it

What is your opinion on the work ethic and working environment at our company ?

Please try and recruit prettier members of the opposite sex, and less cross dressers


Would you recommend, any of your friends to work with us ?

Never

* - All answers given above will be forwarded to your reporting manager and H.R Dept

Like most of those Reliance Ads, most people end up missing the *.


What follows is the Notice Period. The Notice period, is a Roman concept which evolved from the brothels of Venice. In the brothels, when one of the employees would want to quit, (for whatever reason) they would first have to wait for the brothel owner, to find a replacement. This was obviously done, to make sure that all the customers went home with a smile on their faces and most importantly so that the brother owner found a new employee who would satisfy him for a long time to come. ( Satisfy from a commercial point of view obviously).

It’s more or less, the same concept here as well. The only thing is from an employee’s point of view, why would he want to put in any effort at the current company, when he knows that he is going to quit in a week or 2 anyway. For instance, wouldn’t the employee at the brothel, want to save her resources for her next employer. (no pun intended).

Alright, maybe it calls for a more relevant example, if a person X was selling lets say wigs at company Y. And suddenly, a bevy of bald men came to the store. If he was in his right mind, wouldn’t he convince his customers (in this case the bald men) and make sure that they bought the wigs from him at his new store.

So in effect, the notice period is the most confusing time for an employee. Firstly, he has to cope with his colleagues numerous murmurs whenever he enters their line of sight. The murmurs are invariably followed by them, staring at him quizzically.

The really brave ones, come up to him and say, “Congratulations”.

The worst are those, who come up to you and say, “I just heard the news. Come, Please sit down; I want to have a chat with you.”

I fail to understand, why those people try to convince a person to stick on to his present company when he has chosen to move on. God forbid, a person gets convinced not to shift, and the following month slips up on his performance. The next review meeting would certainly include such pleasantaries like, " You should have quit!".

Finally, through the cold stares, the innumerable intellectual persuasions , not to mention the guile and deceit of the exit interview, you decided to move.

The espionage recruiter though, your old friend, she is still in touch, now only worried about when you would be joining your new disposition. This would in effect imply, when her recruiting company would receive the payment from your future employer.

You are hence invited to meet her boss, who full of conviction and effulgence tells you,Heartious Congratulations! You have got a fantastic job, tremendous exposure, exponential growth. A year down the line, you can leverage the brand name with ease.”

You are overjoyed. You made the right decision; there is nobody else out there, with a job as plum as yours.

A week or so later, you are still gloating over your new job, when your phone rings.

Its an unknown number. A soft whispering voice asks for you. surprise surprise, it’s your friendly espionage recruiter again , “ Are you in the Bank, is there anybody next to you?

You reply, “ No, Why?”

She continues, espionage like overtones of course, “ The other company called, they asked for you. They want to pay you double...”

Its a vicious cycle, isnt it...

19 comments:

Ketaki said...

the vicious cycle of employment huh??

and gettin a li'l personal there with Reliance i see ... hehe..

pr@$#@nt# said...

Whats your take on the Union Budget mate??

Anonymous said...

nicely put, but not as humourous as ur previous posts!

and why am i not surprised the people who have made the first 2 comments!....pure coincidence my guess!

Jasku

sm said...

May i say, this was put most aptly and succintly, about the jobs,recruiters, bosses, colleuges and exit interviews.

That reminds me, i need to get in touch with an agency...before its too late?

The Chronicles of Narnia?

Sudhir said...

Yes, the vicious cylcle of employment or (unemployment).

We less fortunate ones ( the non CFA's) have to go through all this to move up the corp. ladder. tsk tsk.

Sudhir said...

The Union Budget is encouraging.

Though, there is a gap in the GDP mainly caused due to a shortfall in the electronic sector.

People feel, it is due to the stealing of a certain I POD.

Any ideas where it might be ?

Sudhir said...

Thanks Jasku,

It was mase philosophical,y'd have to shift jobs once to understand it completely.

As regards, to the people above me, All that I can say is that it was coincidental timing. ( On time, every time)

Sudhir said...

Thank you sm,

You obviously have more of an idea about what Im talking about rather than the other blighters...

Shld we jus say, that you have been very much in demand...(Professionally atleast):-

Ketaki said...

i must say sudhir, you are quite a witty gentleman. i thoroughly enjoy reading the comments section, ur always on ur toes... sharp bloke u are! in fact the comments turn out funnier than the post itself on occasion!
as regards gentle prodding of the sentiments of our beloved friends in public forums, i believe u do pretty well on that front too!! the popular iPod has made its mark yet again for good measure!!lol.
so mr charming and ever so effulgent one, i laud you for your presence of mind, quick wit and ur contagious cackle!
on a parting note, i believe Chidu has done decently this yr. as he said in his speech,his is a compassionate govt! bully for the social sector reforms!

Viddies, Yarbles and Cheers!

bloody hell its a full circle!

Sisto said...

whoa what a transformation

sudhir syal on march 2004 - I'm Dhirubhai Ambani, jus check out my business acumen!

How the tables have turned!

nice post, though i think you've disturbed the volcano equilibrium on the comments section .... yet AGAIN!

Sudhir said...

Thank you Ketaki,

You have more than made up, for the last shld we call it malapropism.:-

Yes, the Budget was good. They have even decreased the prices of Ipods.

My last statement is completely unrealted to the same thin goin missin not so long ago.But obviously. :-

Sudhir said...

Yes, Was a great believer in Dhirubhai.

Until ofcourse, the mauler ran out on me.

Bloody Dawgs!

Yes, as regards to the peelverizer.

Tring Tring!

Im sorry, Im sorry, Its the volcano man...

I have to go.

Siddhu said...

Lol!

So this is what it's like, aye?

-from one who's never been employed (or looks like he is going to be in the near future), leave alone changed jobs

Abhinav said...

Very nice piece, very entertaining... and what's more, I'm just doing a piece on exit interviews, and you've given me a nice angle to add to it. watch out for your name and cross dresser quote on eworld cover story Monday, March 27.

Sudhir said...

Hahahaha.

Just get in touch, with my secretary on 98400 45000, and she will let you how much much royalty, you will have to pay.

Cheers

Abhinav said...

I must be seriously jobless i actually tried that number... whose is it?
and btw haven't seen yr byline on madras plus for awhile what happened? fell out with the mp babes uh?

Sudhir said...

Lol. Noones dude, some random number.

Yeah, My new job has been killing me, difficult to get the time. Did an article on Car rims, which came last Saturday, under "Sudhir Kumar" obviously. :-

P.S They are no babes left at ET MP

Abhinav said...

Neeti is gonna be sooooo heartbroken... How will she know? I'll be telling her, of course, lol.

Hirdu said...

Couldn't agree more...Moi aussi serving Notice period...and my story :) shall be a another intersting post ...to be posted soon....